[About Me] Why I Quit My Corporate Job and Started Creating Art

Sun, 14 Jun 2026 14:16:22 +0000

Introduction

As a way of introducing myself, I’d like to write about

“why I left my corporate job and started creating art.”

I’m currently 48 years old,

and the first time I made something that could be called “art-like” was at 43.

That’s extremely late.

It wasn’t born from an excited feeling of

“I want to do this!”

Instead, it started as something more urgent—almost like I was being pushed into it:

“I can’t hold myself together unless I release what’s inside me through expression.”

And so, I began.

I Was Working Hard, But I Was on the Wrong Track

After graduating from university, I worked as a company employee for over 20 years.

I believe that life is about doing what you want to do,

so I worked extremely hard to turn what I wanted into my job.

And finally, by the time I turned 30,

I had a job where I was satisfied with the work itself, the workplace environment, relationships, and salary.

But as I approached 40, I clearly realized something:

“I chose the wrong track.”

It was a devastating shock.

Because I had worked myself to the bone to get there.

And I had finally reached what I thought was the place I had been aiming for.

In reality, though, I had been hearing a faint voice for more than five years before I clearly recognized it.

But at that time, given the social expectations in Japan,

I believed that another career change was absolutely impossible.

I also felt guilty toward my parents, who had already worried about me so much.

And I was also conscious of my age in terms of having children.

So I pretended not to hear that voice, and continued living.

Still, that voice gradually grew stronger.

In order to explore the possibility of “what if,”

I began challenging myself more than ever before—both in work and in my personal life.

Anything that even slightly felt like “I want to try this,” I went for it.

But as I kept trying things, I ended up thinking:

“Not this… not this either… still not this… none of this…”

I fell into despair, wondering what on earth I actually was looking for.

Maybe I was just being greedy, always wanting something I didn’t have.

Maybe I was simply suffering from a kind of endless dissatisfaction.

I thought about that often.

But no matter how much I thought, the only answer I could reach was:

“This is not it.”

No matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the sense of lack inside me.

Eventually, I had no choice but to accept it:

“I chose the wrong track.”

But even after admitting that, I still didn’t know:

If so, what is the right track for me?

Searching for My Track — What I Finally Found

“If I don’t know, then I have to move.”

So I kept moving, again and again.

I dragged myself forward through life.

It was exhausting.

But within all of that, there was one thing I became completely absorbed in:

Art.

There was something that rose from within me that made me feel I had no choice but to do it.

When I was creating, I would fall into an intense state of immersion—

a feeling where I couldn’t even stop myself.

I could clearly feel that it was different from everything else.

But I convinced myself:

“This is just a hobby.”

Because I believed becoming an artist was one of the hardest things in the world.

And above all, I was raised by “ordinary” parents who taught me that being ordinary is best.

So becoming an artist was something I could not even consider seriously.

And so I kept running away. Over and over.

But no matter how much I tried to escape,

it felt as if my whole body was gently lifted up,

and then firmly pressed back down onto the ground:

“This is where you belong. Stop resisting.”

Completely exhausted, I finally gave in.

And then I realized:

“There is no such thing as a track.”

“What I truly wanted was never something that had a fixed path in the first place.”

After a long, long detour filled with confusion and exhaustion,

I finally came to recognize it:

What I truly want is to express myself through art.

And I was finally able to give myself permission to acknowledge that.

Why It Has to Be Art

I have always loved art.

But I always saw myself only as a viewer—

I never once imagined becoming someone who creates it.

Looking back, I think I had been unconsciously avoiding it all along.

Because I believed that making a living as an artist is one of the hardest things in the world.

But the more I created art,

the more I felt something inside me connecting—like dots from my childhood experiences, interests, and curiosities were naturally linking together.

It was a feeling I had never experienced before.

I finally realized:

“This is the place I’ve been searching for.”

When I first started seriously thinking about my career during job hunting,

I asked myself:

“What do I truly want to do?”

Since then, I have questioned it endlessly—through jobs, through career changes, through effort after effort.

And the answer was here all along.

From that point on, I began living in deep dialogue with myself and my expression.

That said, I am still simply making art.

I do not yet have any achievements that would allow me to call myself an “artist.”

For the past three years, I have been exploring in depth:

What do I actually want to express?

And how do I want to express it?

After continuously experimenting and diving deep,

I finally feel that I have reached a minimum foundation within myself.

So I decided it was time to step outside and begin writing this blog.

Because my creative process is somewhat unconventional,

I honestly still don’t know how I will ever turn my work into income, and that makes me anxious.

But I decided that first, I want people to get to know me.

I would like to write slowly about my works, my life so far,

and various other things as well.

Thank you for reading.

June 14, 2026

mienaimonotachi

みえないものたち

[About Me] Finally, Finally, Finally — I’m Starting a Blog

Sun, 14 Jun 2026 14:00:25 +0000

I’ve actually been thinking about this for a very, very, very long time.

“I want to write something,” I kept telling myself.

There were all these things inside me, bubbling and restless, that I wanted to somehow express.

But every time I tried drafting something,it turned into a complete mess.

There was so much I wanted to say that my thoughts scattered in every direction,and in the end I couldn’t make sense of anything.I’d get overwhelmed, feel like crying, shut everything down—and I repeated this cycle a few times a year for years.

Then, maybe more than half a year ago,I thought I had finally made up my mind:

“Okay, I’ll stop.I just don’t have the ability to express myself in words.That’s why I chose to express myself through art instead.”

But still, the urge kept coming back.

If I could fully express everything through my artwork, maybe I wouldn’t need this at all.But the truth is,I don’t feel like I’m really getting everything across.

I have no idea when I’ll ever feel satisfied with my own expression.

Maybe my life will end before I ever get there.

So I thought—maybe I still want to share the things I’ve experienced and thought about as one human being living this life,with someone somewhere in the world.

And also, at the end of the day,art and writing are different tools with different roles.

There are things that can only be expressed through art,

and things that can only be expressed through words.

And so,I decided to give writing a try, at least for now.

Knowing myself,there’s a very real chance I’ll suddenly think,“Never mind, I’m done!”Or I might post a lot all at once,and then go completely silent for a very long time.

But well—I guess that’s okay.

So I’m just going to start.

Somewhere in the world,this might be useful to someone, even just a little.

Just like how I’ve been helped by others along the way.